Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
