WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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