my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
