Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
