dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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