Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
