he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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