If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
