she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
