fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
