The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I had to cum in my sink.
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