Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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