people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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