I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
