well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's never too late to be topless.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
