Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
