i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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