Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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