I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
