I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
