Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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