do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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