How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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