This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
