This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
