hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
