She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
