Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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