So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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