But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
