I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
