Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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