Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
