Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
