he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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