Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
