He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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