Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
