its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
