Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
