Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
