How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
