Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
