well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
