i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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