the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
