I hate your face
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
