i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
