I smell stomach acid.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
