somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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