This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have demons in me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize