You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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