where does the pee come out of this thing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
