you have to choose: penises or morals?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
