couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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